Color Preference? Mine's Red

When there's been a big break in the blogging action, a good bet is to return to what you know. I know this: I'm going to the Red River Gorge in a couple of days, and I AM PSYCHED! Why? Let me count the ways.

The Drive/The Farm
I just saw a commercial for a new sammy from Arby's, and I had a chance to say to myself, "I'll probably eat one of those in the middle of Illinois." We are driving out there, you see, and there will be plenty of time to peruse middle America's dining options. In spite of the 20 hour
on-yer-ass-sentence that driving inflicts, I'm actually really happy to be doing so. The Farm is about halfway, and I am really looking forward to seeing my grandparents when we stay out there for a night. I haven't seen them for too long, and to be fair, none of us are getting any younger. In addition, The Farm is a place that is really dear to me. I've been outlining and working on a more focused essay that will hopefully be up soon on Abaluba. It is totally focused on stories from my many trips out there growing up. Keep your eyes peeled.

The Weather
I won't blame you if you live on the East Coast and haven't been keeping up, but if you live in Denver or Boulder, you know. It's been wet, rainy, and all too often, snowing here on the Front Range for most of April. There are few things that squash climbing opportunities as effectively as precipitation, especially heavy wet snows like the ones we've had lately. Fortunately, it looks like it will be warm enough out in the South to keep the snow at bay. Rain won't really matter, because the rock is so steep out in KY that it's almost like climbing inside. But you can bet I'm looking forward to wearing shorts and sunscreen, and not belaying in a big puffy coat. Summer's coming, and I'll ring it in when I'm watching leaves bloom at the Red.

The Rock
If you think you go to the gym and climb out the cave with your shirt off, all the girls thinking "I bet he's got a pound of junk in that lycra," and are climbing on the steepest walls in America, you're full of shit. First off, you don't have a pound of junk. And, more importantly, nothing is as steep as The Red. Nothing. Other than on the very rare 5.14, I'm not sure you can do a move much harder than V5 out there, but if you have to do about 194 of them in a row, you've got yourself a 5.13 in Kentucky. The Red is the land of 5.12, but not because they actually have one move of 5.12 on them. In fact, what you've got is a dead vertical 5.9 kicked back 45 degrees, renamed The Undertow Wall, and one of the most classic areas around. Oh my god, I can't wait.

The plan is to try to do a new 5.12 every day, and hopefully project one or two 13's while I'm out there. As long as my skin can hold up to the heavy duty sandpaper texture that defines the place, and as long as my finger can hold up (it's been feeling like a mule stepped on it recently) I think those goals are well within reach. I will certainly keep you up to date. Given that I'll be out there for two weeks, the stamina for those 45* overhanging 5.9's should come around. If not, a winter in the gym will have been all for naught.

The Routes
The tick list:
Too long to reproduce here.

Miguel's Pizza
Have I mentioned that one of the few places every rock climber knows about rests a few minutes outside of Slade, KY? Anytime you can get a pizza with sweet potato, BBQ chicken and roasted red pepper, you gotta grab it. That should be base camp for the trip, and I'll be keeping Abaluba updated with sends, flailures, and esoteric lingo bombs.