Spreadables

Simone and Jen, my room mates, get annoyed when they open the drawer containing silverware. This raw emotion stems from the irony that when they open the drawer, it contains very little of what they hoped to find. Specifically, knives are usually greatly outnumbered by spoons, forks, and their donkey-like spawn, the spork. "Where did all those knives go?," one might ask. Let me answer one: they are dirty. Soiled by some culprit (me) in one flavored activity particularly favored, the spreading of spreadables. Peanut butter, almond butter, soy nut butter in chocolate flavor, cashew butter, and certainly the Robin to the Nut-Butter Batman, the fruit jam spread.
At one point while living in New Zealand, I had my mom send me two jumbo sized containers of PB of PB&J fame. One smooth, one crunchy. I love it, and have been disassembling proper clean cutlery ratios since my early years.
On a recent trip to Hueco Tanks to boulder and visit my buddy Nuno, he introduced me to a new use for this, the greatest good: Peanut Butter on cereal in the morning. That, my friends, has become a staple in my life. I get granola and slivered almonds (albeit in their non-buttered form) from the bulk aisle, and combine them with fruit, yogurt, and the PB. I'm a morning person, and I hold no reservations about crediting this upbeat attitude to my early morning consumption habits.
Kate, however, tells me that this AM alacrity is annoying. Megan and Spencer agree. They describe standing over them, staring at their sleeping faces and holding two cups of coffee until they wake up startled, as "creepy." I just thought they might want a beverage.
Maybe if they had a little more spreadable in their lives, they'd understand me better. Relationships: made better by a shared love of food since the late Triassic.