Back from Class

"Where's my sacrum?"

There are plenty of funny, self conscious questions that can happen in an intro level yoga class. In my case, they happen after the yoga class. Only once I've returned home and found my girlfriend am I fully content to appear as I really am - a neophyte. She's been going to yoga for years, she'll know. I have been going to yoga only recently in an effort to balance myself out and, in truth, to help my climbing. Maybe this way my mind will calm down a little. Maybe by going to yoga a bunch during the winter, I'll get enough strength and flexibility to make 5.12 feel easier and 5.13 feel much more attainable. Maybe, I'll just enjoy going to yoga.

The interesting part of this experiment in stretching is that I don't really know where it will take me. During the first few minutes of the Mysore class I did a few days ago, the teacher led the 15 or so students in a chant. I had no idea what was going on or what was coming next, but I joined in on the two occasions that I was pretty sure we were saying "Om." We sounded great, I assume. Of course, my experience of sounding really nice comes while I was standing in the room, my hands at heart center and eyes pressed tightly together. To anyone passing by on the street who would happen to look in the window, it must have looked like this small cult was calling their spaceship. Maybe, this interesting experiment in stretching will turn me into a total flake. Most of my friends and colleagues already count me as 2/3 of the way there.

The whole ambiguity of where everyone's lives are headed has been on my mind a lot lately. On one hand, I feel like I'm surrounded by people who are making choices to be and do one thing or another. I keep waiting for that same moment of clarity which has apparently motivated everyone else. Where is my moment of inspiration? Where is my decision point? I might as well be waiting on my spaceship.

The only thing that seems to be coming into focus is the realization that we are all just winging it. Even if you went to law school, or med school, or you're on the management track at Domino's Pizza, every one of us is just getting up each morning and deciding to take another hack. Maybe none of us ever has one moment in time that an entire life is measured against. "Before this moment, I had no clue, but from 4:24 PM on Tuesday the 7th of May onward, I had it all dialed." Unless, I guess, you're a Blues Brother, and on a mission from God.

Since I'm beginning to believe that it's all just winging it anyway, maybe climbing and skiing and yoga and chanting like a kook isn't so bad, after all. I guess the only other thing I'd add into the mix is writing more, but that's just a blog post away.