Friday

I've been spending the morning trying to figure out what to blog about. I tried to do some work, but could only get so into mineral ownership chains before my head exploded. Seriously, there's brain goo everywhere. I watched a little of Tom Hanks, the plucky, down on his luck Krakhosian from The Terminal, but Kate got sleepy and a little woozy from the pain meds. We had to turn it off. I tried to explain that we hadn't even seen CZJ's red hot tah tahs yet, but she was generally disinterested in everything, red hot or not. I made a little breakfast, and started thinking maybe I could do a post on eggs or granola or something, but it only took me about 15 seconds to come to the realization that the Voyeurs ain't having that shit. They want good, quality literature. The difference is blogability. Think of me as the Bud Light of Blogger.com. Thank god for Facebook, 'cause I found the motivation I needed. Her name is Sheena Messer.

Some backstory:
Sheena and I went to high school together, I think. I don't really remember her, but I do know we've got a bunch of friends in common on Facebook, and they're people I do remember from Wheat Ridge. The laws of deduction mean we were fellow Farmers. We obviously weren't too close, but when I've got a friend request on that site, I usually just say no sweat, and hit confirm. As soon as I get done with this, I'm headed back to Facebook to hit "unconfirm."

Q: Why?
A:" Sheena took What Kind of Bride Will You Be? quiz and the result is Lovely Lady.
You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy. Your life aim maybe is to serve the people. But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs. All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life. Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it. People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you. Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are uniqe and rare!"

GODDAMNIT!!!!!

I took a quiz today, too. It said I'm beautiful. It said the peasants in China all chant my name in hopes that their sons will grow strong, caring for them in their old age, and that their daughters will wither and die quickly, allowing for more sons. The quiz said I will be rich some day, that I'm well hung. But I kept the results of my quiz to myself (mostly.)

I'm making a new rule for my life. I'm not associating with anybody who could even be capable of such idiotic behavior. If I see that kind of dumb status on your Facebook page, you're getting excommunicated.

I'm going to implement another rule, too. I'd love to get paid to write, but if I ever have to do the synopsis for some self serving bride quiz, I'll stick with oil and gas. And seriously, who on Earth wrote that "lovely lady" junk? Read it again. I think it must have been penned by some immigrant, likely from Krakhosia.

Thinking about it makes me sad. Someone sat down to write down their disjointed thoughts about what it was to be a lady, and a lovely one at that. They've motivated me to do some better writing. If it's good enough, maybe I can get published...on the internet...on Facebook even. Lesser men from war torn nations have achieved as much.